Life and Lessons: Part One – When and Why worry is a sin

My whole life, I’ve been familiar with the idea that to worry was wrong. The reason being that in the Christian life, to worry meant that trust was not being placed in God, and if trust was placed there a lack of faith was the only reason worry could enter the picture. Cognitively, this is a simple concept. Even those who don’t believe in God would surely agree that the Christian logic towards worry makes sense if only among themselves. However, in practice this idea loses some of its simplicity. Once responsibilities get numerous or more weighty, worry seems like a necessary component of life. To not worry would seem as not caring about important matters. Wrestling with this basic complication to the simple Biblical concept has proved to be a very valuable lesson in my life recently. One I suspect I will learn over and over again, as life progresses and brings new complications to the table, and as God pulls me closer to Himself.

The heart of the idea that worry is wrong comes from Jesus’ words in Matthew 6:25-34.

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. [NIV]

In my life I’ve been worried about a lot of things, both very important and very stupid. I’ve come to realize that there is both a wrong and a right way to be concerned or, for lack of better words, worried about certain things, and that it takes a clear Biblical definition of what worry is to know the difference. In order to do that I’m going to post the six New Testament occurrences of μέριμνα (merimna), the noun form or worry, and the nineteen occurrences of μεριμνάω (merimnao), the verb form. For those concerned about proper interpretation and not taking scripture out of context, which you all should be, I will address the context of certain passages where necessary for clarification of what I’m saying, but will leave the extensive reading for your personal enjoyment. Feel free to fill me in on any disagreements. After posting the verses I will address what I feel to be the obvious implications for a Christian understanding towards worry, how it should affect all our lives, and how it has specifically affected mine.

The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful. [Matthew 13:22]

…but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful. [Mark 4:19]

The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. [Luke 8:14]

Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with dissipation, drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you unexpectedly like a trap. [Luke 21:34]

Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches. [2 Corinthians 11:28]

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. [1 Peter 5:7]

Simply from examining the noun form of worry in the NT, you see a profound reality take shape. The parable of the sower and the seed makes its way in all three synoptic Gospels, which point to worries of this life being the reason that God’s Word becomes unfruitful and preventing spiritual maturity. These are people who have received God’s Word and His truth, but because they were more worried about other things, job, family, friends, status, their maturity was cut short and the idea in these passages seems to indicate that they turn away all together. Materialism is the idol that becomes god in these peoples lives. How many Christians are there in this situation? Sadly there are many, especially in our churches. Luke 21 addresses the end of the age, and warns against worrying for materialistic things again, with the mindset that the end could come, so be careful not to put wrongful stock in the concerns of this life.

Now in 2 Corinthians 11, Paul shares his history of being persecuted for the faith, and says the icing on the cake is his worry for the churches he’s planted. This is a legitimate concern. This is not sinful worry about greedy materialistic desires. Even so, he finishes the passage by saying “Who is weak, and I do not feel weak? Who is led into sin, and I do not inwardly burn?  If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness. The God and Father of the Lord Jesus, who is to be praised forever, knows that I am not lying” [2 Cor. 29-31]. This is the end to a tirade against false teachers in Corinth, when Paul purposefully goes on about all he has been through to show his authority to judge their situation. But he ends by pointing out the fact that this highlights his weakness, and by extension the strenth of God. 1 Peter is a great summation of how a Chritian deals with anxiety, all our worries must be cast upon Christ, the sinful ones in order for repentance and the legitimate ones to prevent sinning. Before making anymore conclusions, let us move on to the occurrences of the verb worry in the NT.

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. [Matthew 6:25-34]

But when they arrest you, do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you. [Matthew 10:19-20]

‘Martha, Martha,’ the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.’ [Luke 10:41]

When you are brought before synagogues, rulers and authorities, do not worry about how you will defend yourselves or what you will say, for the Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what you should say. [Luke 12:11-12]

Then Jesus said to his disciples: ‘Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. [Luke 12:22-34]

I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. [1Corinthians 7:32-35]

But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. [1 Corinthians 12:24-25]

I hope in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you soon, that I also may be cheered when I receive news about you. I have no one else like him, who takes a genuine interest in your welfare. For everyone looks out for his own interests, not those of Jesus Christ. [Philippians 2:19-21]

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. [Philippians 4:6]

There are a great number of overlapping themes and theological points to be made in these passages. However, focussing on worry alone, there seems to be a clear way to see both sinful and sinless types of worry. Sinful worry has to do with doubting God’s ability, whether consciuosly or unconsciously, to meet your basic physical and spiritual needs. It is also a worry that leads to despair and depression. Sinless or Godly worry is in relation to the spiritual welfare of others and in relation to obedience to God. “Seek the Kingdom,” it says in Luke 12, or more plainly stated in Matthew 6 and as quoted in a popular hymn, “Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you.” Worry is a sin when it has replaced seeking God’s Kingdom and His righteousness. Godly worry, or more accurately stated in English, Godly concern is tied to seeking His Kingdom. It is being concerned with the things God is concerned about, being sensitive to the things that He is sensitive to. It is letting your emotions give way to the same things that cause God’s emotions to give way. The only way to know what God is concerned with is to know the Word and to listen to Him. Hence, my belief that listening to God is the foundational precept and practice for Christian living.

I’m afraid there are too many Christians for whom some of these passages will make no sense, because they have never experienced following God and listening to Him that closely. What Christian will care that the Spirit of God will give them the words they need to say in life or death situations when they have never risked their lives or anything else for Him? What Christian will care about whether or not to get married and have their attention divided between worldly affairs and God’s affairs when no one has every shown or told them they need to ask God if, when, who and how to marry? What Christian will even know the danger of not seeking God’s Kingdom and His righteousness first, when their whole life their church and family have sought the righteousness of friends, political parties and their leaders, their country, and their favorite celebrities without distinguishing or even trying to understand the difference between what God says is worth caring about and what the world does?

I have discovered that Godless worry leads needlessly to despair, deep confusion, depression, idolatry, mediocraty, hatred, arrogance and many other sins. However, Godly worry leads to intercession, deep prayer, excellence, sorrow that leads to repentance, spiritual renewal, deeper faith, Godly kindness, harsh and theologically correct anger, and all kinds of love. Whether or not one is worrying in either way depends on if they are truly listening to God or not. I hope this is as helpful a lesson to you as it has been and is being to me. As I encounter further responsibilities and greater visions in life, I pray now for my future self, that I will then as now by God’s grace seek His Kingdom and His righteousness first. I hope you do the same.

Life and Lessons: Intro

Before I was afflicted I went astray,
but now I obey your word. [Psalm 119:67]

It’s safe to say that what I’m doing in my life right now is nearly nothing like what I expected. I’m convinced that there is nothing more central to Christian living than listening to God. I’m not going to spend my time here detailing what I mean by that, only state that this is what I try to do and what I’ve staked my life on. In light of that, and in light of one of my reasons for blogging being to keep my friends up to date on what is happening in my life, I’ve decided to do a short series of blogs roughly covering my recent activities and the lessens I’m learning in the process. I’m going to go about it using a method I’ve heard referred to as the helicopter approach. I’ll first cover all the ground quickly, then come back and swoop down to hone in on key things along the way.

Briefly I would like to share, for the sake of God’s glory, what the past year has been for me.

I graduated May of 2007 from Kentucky Christian University with plans to work a decent paying job that Summer and attend Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary that Fall. I was accepted and had a plan for paying the over $30,000 a year in tuition and fees for two years to get an M.A. in Biblical Languages. This goal stemmed from the fact that I feel called to eventually plant and teach at a Bible College/Seminary in Hyderabad, India with several of my close friends, one who is from Hyderabad and who’s family plants churches there. Without going in to too much detail, I reached a point in College where it was clear to me I was supposed to do this College plant deal, and in the meantime earn the appropriate degrees in order to be officially recognized as capable of doing so. Getting back to the story, I soon discovered that there was a massive problem, that being the job I was supposed to get didn’t work out. I soon found myself working much harder than I imagined as a hard-wood floor installer and making much less than enough for school the coming Fall. At the same time, Jeff, my Indian friend from Hyderabad, was having trouble getting prepared to pay for school as well. He had the added pressure of needing to officially be a student in order to extend his visa. A week before he was about to be shipped out, we both realized we were screwed. I was house-sitting for for some friends at this time, sitting in my underwear feeling really depressed, when I get a call from a family that supports Jeff’s family’s ministry. I had met them at our graduation.

Dr. Staats was on the line, and he began spelling out the option of us switching our plans from GCTS in Boston, MA to Winebrenner Theological Seminary in Findlay, OH at a third of the cost. Despite the obvious switch in the “cool” factor of our destination, we felt like a rope had been thrown to us right before we sunk. Within 48 hours, we were in. A week later my close friend Adam had made the switch as well. Shortly after this, I was able to help my home church by filling an interim role as Youth Minister. Home in Versailles, KY was four hours away from Findlay, and that was the commute I made once a week to attend classes on Tuesday. Dr. Staats and his wife were kind enough to let us stay Monday through Wednesday morning, and I was able to drive back to church just in time for Wednesday night youth meetings. The drive was sometimes unbearable, except when driving past Touchdown Jesus just North of Cincinnati, when I would bust into laughter even though I had past it numerous times. The $250,000 the Solid Rock Church paid to build that thing is almost worth it for the consistent laughter it brought to my life, but not quite. Despite the drive, I was having a great experience with the school, and I was spending less money than if I had attended Asbury Seminary which is about half an hour away from Versailles. I was able to pay for my first two semesters without taking out any loans, a commitment I made after getting into ridiculous debt at Bible College. I was also able to go to India and Bangladesh in December, and had the privilege of visiting a Bible College and Seminary that proved to be immensely insightful considering what I feel called to do with my life.

Preaching in Kolkata, India

Come May of this year, it was clear that a move to Findlay was needed. The role I was filling in for at my home church was no longer empty, so I left and moved to Adam’s in Indianapolis to consolidate our efforts in looking for a house, a job and a time to move to Findlay. I was still paying on my Spring semester, and the prospects of paying that off while finding a place to rent and a job were not looking good. During the month and a half at Adam’s, I managed to worry like crazy, pray a little crazier, watch all four seasons of Lost, watch both seasons of Extras, read at least ten books, do three phone interviews, fill out thirteen applications online, and get absolutely no closer to getting to Findlay at all. While this was going on, our friend Keith was also planning to come live with us and was back at his home in Akron, OH. He too was having no success getting anything to go his way in regards to Findlay. There are many reasons why we were certain this move was what we were supposed to do. Aside form the obvious benefit of being close to school as opposed to 250 miles away, we also knew that we were supposed to be together. And I don’t mean this as any kind of “Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.” We felt called to go together as missionaries to pray for people, cast demons out of their lives, put the Gospel in the ears and watch Christ pursue their heart wherever we were. We have learned very valuable lessons about this at College. We also had begun to meet several Indian students from the University of Findlay. A couple of them had converted to Christianity while here and were shunned by their families back home, who then withdrew their support and left them completely hanging. There are around 1,000 international students at U of F, 400 of which are Indian. I was shocked when I first came to Findlay to see so many Indians in Northwest Ohio, but I guess they are everywhere. We could see the need and potential for a more consolidated ministry to these students, and felt that God was essentially calling us as missionaries to Findlay. That being said, the fact that all our efforts to make the move happen were failing terribly became a great source of stress.

Late June Jeff’s family was in Findlay at the Staats’ place, and I was responsible for taking them to several churches down in my neck of the woods. So I packed my basket of clothes, which I’m still living out of, and took them on the Kentucky part of their fund-raising tour. I loved it, but my depleting funds, current debt to school, and lack of housing and income stayed in the forefront of my mind. I found solace in a combination of stress filled prayer and eating copious amounts of curry that Jeff’s mom Esther would make, the going rate for a tour of Kentucky if you need my help. Upon returning to Findlay and taking the Gujjarlamudi’s to the Columbus airport, Jeff and I once again found ourselves in a desperate spot. With the pressure mounting I began to interview for a job at the local City Mission, and frantically looking for a house to rent. By God’s grace and complete providence, I got a job at the Mission, but was still in debt and homeless myself. I thought I was going to have to join the residents at my new place of work. Slowly God opened things up. We found a house about four or so blocks from the Seminary on Main Street and were allowed to move in without signing or paying anything up front. Then, as I began to realize that my income at the Mission was not only insufficient for paying school as I go but also wasn’t anywhere near what I needed to pay off my debt, I was able to secure a second job at a local coffee shop and have my wonderful family help me with the debt.

I’m currently writing this sitting in that very house on Main Street, with sore legs from walking to the Mission everyday thirty minutes both ways to save money, with concern that I can’t remember half of my intense training at the coffee shop and just know I’ll be the cause of losing some customers when I screw up their drinks, with some anxiety at the prospect of throwing two Seminary classes on top of my new and very busy schedule, and feeling so incredibly amazed that any of this has actually happened. I’m still waking up after a month of living here saying, “What the heck am I doing in Findlay?” Sometimes I find other words to express myself. A lot of my amazement just comes from the fact that this is kind of a strange place. For example, until I moved here, I didn’t know that anyone every smoked and rode their bicycle at the same time. Here, every other person does, and I find it shocking and very funny every time. Maybe I’m the odd one, but in any case it is strange to me. Another example is the choice of names for tobacco stores. I nearly live just across from “Butts-N-Nuts“. On the East end of town you can find the “Butt Hut” for your nicotine needs. Again, maybe there are a lot of “Butts and Nuts” and “Butt Huts” out there, I’ve just never been aware of them. Those are a few of the less serious examples of why I’m amazed that I live here. The more serious ones include that if it wasn’t for God making it clear that this is what I need to do, not only would I never have come here, it just would not have been possible. From the start of my experience with Findlay to where I am now, I can interpret it in no other way but God wanted it to be so.

That previous sentence leads me to the conclusion of my introduction. I was so confused and frustrated at my seemingly God given plans becoming so hard to follow through with. I slowly have been able to accept the fact that there was one major reason why I needed to struggle the way I did to be where I am now. I remember sitting in my dorm room at College an endless number of times, feeling so worthless inside the bubble of Christian Education, so fed up with stupid and mindless crap that was always going on, so upset that I couldn’t seem to pull myself together the way I knew I should be doing and praying that God would teach me exactly what it means to follow Him. I know that I would have done fine going to other Seminaries and being in other places, but knowing that God has intentionally placed you somewhere for specific and general purposes changes everything. The variable difference in the quality of each Christian is how much they really listen to God. That’s why some Christians are absolutely worthless though they may pass through the fire of death, and others move mountains though they live in the fires of life. Without all the back and forth, the inconsistent timing, the laborious drives and the failing jobs I would have ignored a lot of what God was doing for and saying to me. I have not found it easy, at this stage in my life, with so much of what I’m doing on the line, to accept that any struggle God providentially puts me through is worth it simply because it may mean that on the other side I know a little more what it is to follow Him. I haven’t even dealt with the real difficulties like Job, or like many persecuted Christians through history who, though they were and are being slaughtered, cry out to God equally with supplication and praise. It is so important to destroy all things that come between following God and following self. Many Christians straddle the line and live in abject mediocrity all their lives. Knowing that God has placed me here is more valuable to me than anything save Christ Himself.

I’ve only scratched the surface here, and have purposefully not tried to be extensive or define and defend my statements. I would just like to end by saying I’m far from perfect, and my life here is not paradise. I’m not always happy. I’m still quite confused about a lot of things. But I’ve got no problem stating with confidence that God brought me here, and that listening to Him is possible and the only thing that matters for anyone. I hope to spell out more of what I mean in the coming posts.

What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge, take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do your friends despise, forsake you? Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In His arms He’ll take and shield you; you will find a solace there.

Blessed Savior, Thou hast promised Thou wilt all our burdens bear
May we ever, Lord, be bringing all to Thee in earnest prayer.
Soon in glory bright unclouded there will be no need for prayer
Rapture, praise and endless worship will be our sweet portion there.

["What a Friend We Have in Jesus" by Joseph Scriven and Charles Converse]

The Curry House Posse

Dr. Les Lightner

A great man died yesterday afternoon. To me Les was a professor, and over the course of the past year we became friends as we were able to spend time away from class together, and as we traveled together to New England this summer. His compassion, pastoral giftedness, intellect, and his hard work will be missed by friends, family, and students and coworkers at Winebrenner Theological Seminary. 

As I walked into the Lightner’s house last night, the sorrowed looks of friends and family lasted only long enough to greet me and acknowledge mutual sympathy. However, something more deeply mutual began to take over within seconds. As I hugged Les’s wife Shirley and sat down, she told everyone a story from our trip to Boston this summer which was met with laughter and smiles. Glimmers of joy kept peering through the sorrow that evening, and while grieving and tears found a home in everyones heart, they could not move the deep rooted joy that had its place there already. Binding us together in that house of death, was the promise of life, the reality that Les was not merely somewhere better, but in the best place. Sad as we were, everyone knew that there would be no challenge as to where our comfort would come from, and when grief slipped away for brief moments we laughed. I couldn’t help but think the entire time I was there, “We don’t grieve like those with no hope. We grieve, but not like those with no hope.”

I thank God for giving me the brief time I had to know and learn from Dr. Lightner. I know many others will join me in praying for Les’s wife Shiley, his sons Erik and John, and his daughter Bethany as they ban together in the wake of this passing. I hope everyone will grow to know Christ more and more in the coming weeks, and what it means to grieve like those who have hope.

Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. [1 Thessalonians 4:13-14]